Some say that there is no such thing as bad pizza. Those that have said that have never had pizza in the Middle East. Everybody loves pizza and we are no exception, so we are always hoping to find "more-than-edible" pizza, but rarely ever do. My first terrible pizza experience was in Egypt. We were having a late-night chat, Anis, my Dad and I, at the lobby cafe at the Heliopolis Meridien, in Cairo, and decided to have a bite. We ordered a seafood pizza and, about an hour later, got a thick soft round crust with overcooked prawns, bechamel and plastic-y cream cheese. The waiter asked if we would be having catsup with that. We said no, thank you, but we would like some oregano (there was none) and olive oil. But there was no last-minute fixing it. That was the most disgusting pizza I had ever tasted.

Until last wednesday, when we went to Luigi's, in Budayia, Kingdom of Bahrain.

Located in a outdoor food court, Luigi's is a clean, nicely decorated place. As we went in, we overheard an expat mom tell her 10-year old son, "That was nice pizza", and felt hopeful. We were hungry but still noticed we were the only two adults in the place. Oh-oh. Luigi's seems to be a teenage girls hangout. Or maybe it was just that evening. Anis ordered a seafood pizza, i ordered a Luigi's. We had a rucola salad as a starter, but couldn't go halfway through it, as it was drowned in Balsamic Vinegar. Then the thing Luigi calls pizza was served, and it was so sad, because the crust was thin and crispy , just the way we like it, but the cheese was plastic. Fake shredded mozzarela full of xantan gum, for that vinylic effect. They were the saddest excuses for pizza we have ever seen.

We asked for the check and returned the barely touched, intensely overpriced (BD3/100, around 10 U$ for each plate sized thing),Luigi's crispy dough with vinyl cheese and toppings to wherever they came from. We had no cash and it was a problem because the waitress told us no debit or credit cards were accepted. So I fumbled around my bag and came up with 4 Dinars, along with the suggestion that since we had not touched the "pizzas", could we pay only for the soft drinks? That's when Anis realized the woman sitting at the table right behind me - the only other adult person in the place- was the owner of Luigi's. So there was no Luigi, even though the ethiopian waitress had assured us the pizzaiolo was italian. Well, she actually said there was an Italian chef, she never did say pizzaiolo.

At first she was kind, offering us the opportunity to pay whenever we came back there, and then I had to open my big mouth and tell her we probably wouldn't, because we didn't like the pizza. Mrs. Luigi's didn't like that, and demanded to know why. I told her it was the cheese. She told me it was the best they could offer to keep their prices reasonable, and I suggested she'd go to Mino's, in Adlyia, and try some real pizza, at the same price as Luigi's, but real real pizza. She made a face and told us to leave. We paid for our drinks and the vinegar salad, and left to Caramel cafe and bakery,at the same food court. More about Caramel soon. Now let me tell you about Mino's.

A converted townhouse in the narrow streets of Adlyia, Mino's serves much-more-than-edible pizza. The place decor is as cheesy as it gets --cheesy, pizza, it's all related-- acrylic painted murals, imbedded in arches, showing a bridge between Bahraini and Italian landmarks, but the pizza is GREAT. Real thin and almost crispy dough, real crispy dark and floury border, real fresh mozzarella. Fresh basil. Crostini with chopped tomatoes and olives. Real olive oil. And a real Italian running the place: Mino.